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8. WHAT PARENTS CAN DO? (Cont'd)
8.9. Make bedtime a special time for the ADHD/ADD child:
- Develop a bed-time routine, starting 30 minutes before sleeping
- Have the ADHD/ADD child pick his favourite book, etc.
- Tuck them into bed, tell them you will always love them and kiss them goodnight; a child's favourite bed-time song:
- I love you for always,
- I like you forever
- For as long as I'm living
- My baby you will be
8.10. Heart Of Parenting:
- Make sure your ADHD/ADD child feels he is worthwhile and lovable so that he / she can grow up to be an effective and happy adult with good self-esteem
- Be specific in your praise and criticism; describe the behavior that causes the praise or criticism:
- Also describe what could have been done to avoid the problem/criticism
- Allow your child to be competent and responsible:
- It is important for the child to feel that he can competently control everyday experience
- This will affect his future behavior in terms of willingness to try and to be persistent in achieving his goals
- Signs of a good parent-child relationship:
- Child comes and ask you to carry or hold him
- Child brings hurt feelings to you
- Child says something that shows he knows how you feel
- Child helpes when not asked
- Child wants to talk or be with you.
- Signs of a poor parent-child relationship:
- Child dopes not send messages like those above
- You are often angry with your child
- Small issues becomes big issues
- You talk to your child in a sarcastic , lecturing, insulting way
- You hit your child in fits of rage
- Your child defies you or shouts at you
- Communicating Low & Acceptance:
- Tell your child you love & appreciate him
- Show love by touching
- Let your child do his own things without directions or criticisms
- Be a good listener
- Sharing your child's activities without taking over
- Learn to recognise your child's feelings
- We must find clues to the feelings of our children which may be hidden in what they say or do
- We must show the child we understand by telling him our understanding of his feelings
- h) Sharing Yourself with your child
- Let the child know and experience how you feel, your thoughts and your expectations
- This should be done without intending to manipulate the child by making him feel guilty or fearful
- There should be no expectations that the child will act differently because of what you say
8.11. Other Considerations:
- Involvement in social activities such as scouting, church groups or other youth organisations that help develop social skills and self-esteem
- Allow the ADHD/ADD child to play with younger children if this is where they fit in; They can develop valuable social skills from interactions with younger children.
- Individualised activities that are mildly competitive or non-competitive (e.g. walking, swimming, jogging, biking, karate, etc.)
- ADHD/ADD child may do less well than their peers in team sports.
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