23. What role can the Father play in bringing up the ADHD child?

23.1. Literature on ADHD, counsellors and psychologists all consistently noted that it is the mother who senses that her child is “different”, attends talks and reads books on ADHD and tries to advocate for her child.

23.2. Fathers of ADHD children, on the other hand, often get stuck in the “denial” stage. They place the blame for the child's behaviour on their spouse's “ineffective mothering”, preferring to handle the situation with large doses of “good old fashion discipline”.

23.3. This conflict between the parents puts additional stress on the ADHD child and increases his sense of insecurity. The participation of the Father is therefore a primary factor in helping the ADHD child cope.

23.4. Fathers play important roles in bringing up children:

• See web-site www.fathers.com.sg to get more information on this
  
• Put yourself in the mailing list on tips for fathering (send your request to be including in the mailing list to fathers@singnet.com.sg).
  

23.5. Fathers have the following important roles:

• A father who has strong bonding with the child is one who plays with the child
  
• Fathers teach the child values and beliefs during and through play
  
• Fathers have a great impact on how the child views the world
  
• Fathers teach the child to see the world from different perspectives
  
• Fathers are often seen as the authority in the household
  
• Researches have shown that fathers have more impact on the child than mothers in many areas (quite ironical because the average child spends much less time with the father than with the mother)
  
• Boys will role-play what their fathers did, do or will be doing
  
• Girls will learn more about men from their fathers. Their fathers largely influence their values and beliefs about men.
  

23.6. There are many fathers do not know how to play or interact with their children because they have not played or interacted with their own fathers:

• One of the key mission of the "The Centre for Fathering" (www.fathers.com.sg) is to break this vicious cycle of un-involved fathers
  
• Activities such as camps and field trips are organised by the "The Centre For Fathering" to help fathers build a stronger bond with their children.